Meditation for Expecting Fathers: Be A Calm Dad

So how do you feel now you’re going to be a father?

This could be a moment of relief, knowing that all the family planning, and the intercourse dictated by an ovulation app, or the final adoption approval has finally paid off.

Or you could currently be taking a lawsuit against the condom company. In either case, your life is about to change significantly and one of the best ways to get through this time is using meditation for expecting fathers.

I should know, at the time of writing, I have heard that my wife is quickly approaching the first month of pregnancy and that I am going to be a father.

Roller Coaster of Love

I’ve never truly understood the term ‘a rollercoaster of emotions’ until I realized what I was doing to be a dad. My feelings flew from pure ecstatic elation, bursting with happiness, to complete frenzied panic to how unprepared I feel to be a father, and how I can provide for my future child.

As an expecting father, you will be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. From excitement to anxiety, these feelings are completely normal.

We’re Not Really Emotional Experts

If you are part of the socio-democratic average of men, then you’re not really that good at dealing with emotions. We are generally either happy, sad, or angry. The complex emotions that arise when you discover that you are going to be a father might be alien to you, and you could make the mistake of defaulting to the three emotions you’re familiar with (happy, sad, angry).

Using meditation can help you best understand what you’re feeling and teach you to respond and not react to your emotions. This is going to be an essential skill for you as a father.

The Lack of Guidance for Fathers

My wife and I planned to visit a bookshop in the city to look for some parenting books. We went to the largest bookstore in central London and were pleased to find a whole section on parenting. But, it seems that parenting is a pseudonym for motherhood.

You might say,

but Eddie, as a father all you really do is plant the seed, it’s the mother that has to go through all the physical changes and push out something the size of a melon through something the size of a lemon.

And you’d be right. But as an expecting father, shouldn’t I be given the same amount of education on how to support my wife/partner during the pregnancy and prepare me as best as I can to be a good if not great dad?

In total, there were 57 books on ‘parenting’ which were all aimed at mothers, and only 5 books on being a father.

In the end, I bought one book that explained to me what to expect from my wife and another book which is ‘Fatherhood – The Truth, by Marcus Merkmann’, a hilarious account of being a father. And to be honest. I’m learning more practical advice from the Merkmann book than from the scientific one.

In total, there were 57 books on ‘parenting’ which were all aimed at mothers, and only 5 books on being a father.

Understanding the Stress of Expecting Fathers

Becoming a father is one of the most significant transitions in a man’s life. It’s a time of joy and anticipation, but it can also be a period of stress and uncertainty. As an expecting father, you’ll at some point worry about a million things such as your partner’s health, the baby’s well-being, financial concerns, and how your life will change after the baby arrives.

Emotional Changes During Pregnancy

During pregnancy, not only do women go through hormonal and physical changes, but men also experience emotional changes. You may feel a range of emotions from joy and excitement to fear and anxiety. These feelings are normal and part of your journey towards fatherhood.

The Role of an Expecting Father

As an expecting father, your role is not just about providing financial support or preparing the baby’s room. It’s also about being emotionally present for your partner and your unborn child. This involves attending prenatal appointments, participating in childbirth classes, and learning about baby care.

Stress Factors for Expecting Fathers

You and your partner are going to have new stresses at this time. This could include:

• Concerns about your partner’s health
• The baby’s development
• Financial readiness
• Balancing work and family responsibilities
• Changes in your relationship with your partner. 

Recognizing these stress factors is the first step toward managing them effectively.

The Benefits of Meditation for Expecting Fathers

Meditation is more than just a way to relax. For expecting fathers like you, it can offer a host of benefits that can make the journey toward fatherhood more fulfilling and less stressful.

Stress Relief

One of the most significant benefits of meditation is stress relief. As we discussed earlier, expecting fathers often face various stressors. Regular meditation can help you manage these stressors effectively. It allows you to calm your mind, reduce anxiety, and approach challenges with a clear and focused mind.

Increased Connection with the Unborn Child

Meditation can also help you connect with your unborn child on a deeper level. By quieting your mind and focusing on your baby, you can develop a strong bond even before the baby is born. This connection can enhance your anticipation of fatherhood and make you feel more prepared for the arrival of your baby.

Enhanced Understanding of the Birthing Process

Understanding the birthing process can reduce anxiety and make you a more supportive partner during labor and delivery. Meditation can help you gain this understanding. Through guided meditations and visualization techniques, you can familiarize yourself with the stages of labor, the role of breathing, and how to provide effective support.

Types of Meditation Practices for Expecting Fathers

There are several types of meditation practices that can be beneficial for expecting fathers. Here are a few that you might want to consider:

Guided Meditations

Guided meditations are a great starting point, especially if you’re new to meditation. These are meditations led by a trained practitioner, either in person or through an audio recording. They guide you through the process, helping you focus your mind and relax your body.

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness is a form of meditation where you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and engaged during your partner’s pregnancy and prepare you for the attentive role of fatherhood.

HypnoBirthing Relaxation for Dads

HypnoBirthing is a unique method that includes specific techniques of relaxation, visualization, and self-hypnosis.

They’re usually aimed at expecting mothers to help with the birth, but the techniques can also help prepare fathers for the birthing and support their partner through the process. These techniques can help you stay calm and focused during the birthing process, making you a more supportive partner.

How to Start a Meditation Practice

Starting a meditation practice might seem daunting at first, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some practical steps to help you begin your meditation journey as an expecting father:

Finding the Right Time and Place

The first step in starting a meditation practice is finding a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed. This could be a dedicated room in your house, a quiet corner, or even outdoors. The time of day you choose to meditate can also play a significant role. Some people find that meditating first thing in the morning helps them start their day on a positive note, while others prefer to meditate at night to help them unwind.

Starting with Short Sessions

When you’re just starting out, it’s okay to meditate for short periods. Even a few minutes of meditation can be beneficial. As you become more comfortable with the practice, you can gradually increase the duration of your sessions.

Using Meditation Apps or Guides

There are numerous resources available to help you start your meditation practice. Meditation apps, online guides, and even books can provide step-by-step instructions and guided meditations tailored for expecting fathers.

The Takeaway

Meditation can be a powerful tool for expecting fathers. It can help you manage the stress of impending fatherhood, connect with your unborn child, and prepare for the life-changing event of birth. Whether you’re new to meditation or have been practicing for years, incorporating meditation into your daily routine can make your journey to fatherhood more fulfilling and less stressful. So why wait? Start your meditation practice today and embrace the joys and challenges of fatherhood with a calm and focused mind. And good luck with your new addition to your family!