you are not your thoughts FI

You Are Not Your Thoughts: Cultivating a Mindful Awareness of Your Inner World

Pay attention, because what I’m about to tell you could free you from years of stress, confusion, and emotional fatigue. In simple terms: You are not your thoughts. Say that to yourself three more times, as it can be a key step towards finding inner calm. Sure, the brain is powerful, and when we concentrate on our objectives, we can achieve them. However, it’s not the thoughts themselves that make things happen, but our actions.

The idea that we are our thoughts and that merely thinking (or obsessing) about something will attract that energy and magically make it a reality is just wishful thinking.

If thoughts alone held that much power, the world would have ended centuries ago (consider how long people have been predicting the apocalypse). Our population would likely be a mere fraction of its current size (think of all the worries that fill parents’ minds). And most of us would be dead or dying right now due to anxious thoughts about deadly diseases, accidents, or the fear of death itself.

While Freud suggested that our thoughts are closely tied to our identity, modern cognitive behavioral therapists believe that thoughts are just thoughts – not defining characteristics of who we are. In fact, thoughts can often contradict the person having them. Individuals with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety frequently dwell on their darkest fears.

Research shows that these people are often more conscientious than the average person, and they obsess over troubling thoughts because they’re so disturbed by having them in the first place.

What Does It Mean: You Are Not Your Thoughts?

When we say “you are not your thoughts,” we mean that your thoughts don’t define you as a person. Thoughts arise in our minds all the time, some positive, some negative, and everything in between. They’re just thoughts, and it’s crucial to separate yourself from them to live a more mindful life.

Are Thoughts a Part of You?

Thoughts are a natural part of the human condition, but they don’t define who we are. Our thoughts are just one aspect of our experience, but they don’t encompass our true nature. Our true selves exist in the present moment, as an unchanging awareness that’s always there, observing and experiencing life.

How to Separate Yourself From Your Thoughts

you are not your thoughts - man looking out of window thinking

Learning to separate yourself from your thoughts is an essential step toward mental health and living a mindful life. Here are a few simple steps to help you achieve this:

  1. Notice your thoughts: The first step is to become aware of your thoughts. When a thought arises, notice it without judgment. Remember that thoughts are just passing clouds and don’t define you as a person.

  2. Take a few deep breaths: Whenever you notice your thoughts, take a moment to pause and take a few deep breaths. This helps you to bring your focus back to the present moment and disengage from the busy mind.

  3. Objectively observe your thoughts: Instead of getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings, try to objectively observe them. See them as separate from yourself, like watching a movie or observing a character in a play.

  4. Accept your thoughts: Accept all thoughts, including the negative ones, as they are. Understand that it’s normal to have unwanted thoughts, and they don’t define who you are.

  5. Meditation: Practice meditation regularly. Guided meditation can be particularly helpful in teaching you how to separate yourself from your thoughts and emotions.

you are not your thoughts - woman on a beach

The Benefits of Realizing You Are Not Your Thoughts

When you understand that you are not your thoughts, you gain a sense of liberation and empowerment. You become more aware of your feelings and emotions, and you learn to let go of negative thoughts and focus on the positive aspects of life.

This awareness also helps you to be more present in each very moment, allowing you to fully experience life and find happiness in the simplest things. You’ll notice that you feel happier and more at peace when you’re not constantly battling your thoughts and feelings.

Applying This Concept in Everyday Life

Let’s look at a practical example: Imagine you have a job interview coming up, and you’re feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety. Your thoughts might be racing, with memories of past interviews or fears of the future clouding your mind.

In this situation, remember that you are not your thoughts. Take a few deep breaths, bring your focus back to the present moment, and objectively observe your thoughts and feelings. Accept that it’s normal to feel anxious before a job interview, but don’t let these emotions control you.

This mindful approach helps you to stay grounded and focused, which can make all the difference in your performance during the interview.

you are not your thoughts - close up of man's face

Commitment Therapy and Mental Health

The concept of “you are not your thoughts” is a key principle in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a popular approach to mental health treatment.

ACT focuses on helping individuals accept their thoughts and feelings, even the negative ones, without becoming overwhelmed or consumed by them.

By learning to disengage from our thoughts and emotions, we can live more in alignment with our values and lead a fulfilling life.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Powerful Tools for Change

Mindfulness and meditation are two powerful tools that can help you realize that you are not your thoughts. Practicing mindfulness involves intentionally paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in the present moment without judgment.

Meditation, on the other hand, is a more focused practice where you set aside time to concentrate on a specific object or sensation (such as your breath) to calm your mind and gain greater self-awareness.

Here’s a simple guided meditation exercise to help you separate yourself from your thoughts:

  1. Find a quiet space and sit in a comfortable position.

  2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, feeling your body relax.

  3. Bring your attention to your breath, noticing the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body.

  4. When thoughts arise (and they will), acknowledge them without judgment and gently bring your focus back to your breath.

  5. Continue this practice for a few minutes, or as long as you feel comfortable.

As you become more skilled in meditation, you’ll find it easier to notice when you’re caught up in your thoughts and to bring your focus back to the present moment. Over time, this practice can lead to a deeper understanding of your own thoughts and emotions, as well as greater mental clarity and inner peace.

you are not your thoughts - two women laughing on a beach

A Life-Changing Realization

Realizing that you are not your thoughts can be a life-changing experience. It helps you to break free from the grip of negative emotions and to live a more mindful, happy, and fulfilling life.

By developing awareness and learning to separate yourself from your thoughts, you can overcome the mental barriers that hold you back and embrace the true nature of your being.

The Takeaway

Remember, thoughts and feelings come and go like passing clouds, but the unchanging awareness that lies beneath them is your true essence.

By cultivating mindfulness and meditation, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the ups and downs of life with grace, resilience, and a deep sense of inner peace.

So, the next time you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts, whether they’re positive or negative, take a step back and remember: you are not your thoughts. You are so much more.

Want to get your mind off your thoughts and learn more about meditation? Read this post about the best podcasts for meditation.


Yes, intrusive thoughts are a normal part of the human experience. It’s important to remember that they don’t define you, and you can learn to let them go without judgment.

Begin by finding a quiet space, sitting comfortably, and focusing on your breath. Observe your thoughts as they arise without judgment or attachment, and gently return your focus to your breath whenever your mind wanders.

Cognitive reframing might involve changing a thought like “I’m a failure” to “I’m learning from my mistakes,” or “I can’t do anything right” to “I’m still growing and improving.”

The more you practice detaching from your thoughts, the more natural it will become. Aim to incorporate mindfulness and other techniques into your daily routine to build the habit of detaching from your thoughts.

Practice treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when you’re struggling or experiencing difficult thoughts. Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts and that everyone experiences challenges and setbacks.

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